


love me dead

by PassionateKey



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Emotional Hurt, Fights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-22
Updated: 2015-01-22
Packaged: 2018-03-08 14:39:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3212810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PassionateKey/pseuds/PassionateKey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by the events of episode 2x09.</p>
            </blockquote>





	love me dead

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the events of episode 2x09, some small-ish spoilers in terms of me using dialogue from the show, and the mention of new characters (?), otherwise no actual event spoilers.
> 
> Not my best, but I was feeling inspired. Excuse the mistakes.

They were going at it again. Screaming and yelling, throwing verbal punches that everyone knew scarred deeper then actual ones. Neither one would back down, both as stubborn and hotheaded as the other, and the whole camp was sick of it. Ever since the rescue of the forty-seven something had changed between Clarke and Bellamy causing them to argue over every little decision. Octavia was the one to volunteer to go and try to get them to calm down enough to let the rest of them sleep. But when she'd stepped into the makeshift tent, the way the two of them had been starring each other down had made her want to crawl back out.

She sighed loudly, hoping to get their attention, neither one broke contact. "Okay," Octavia threw her hands up in the air. "This is getting ridiculous! You two can either finish yelling at each other at a more appropriate time of the day or get the hell away from camp where no one will here you."

It seemed to strike a nerve because Bellamy broke away first. "No," he turned his back to Clarke. "We're done here."

Clarke looked at him in disbelief, and reached out for his arm. Bellamy pulled away as if her touch had burned him, and gathered his things.

"We are not done Blake!" Octavia cringed at Clarke's serious voice, having been at the end of it many times before.

"Yes we are." Bellamy growled back, making way towards the exit.

Clarke cut him off, crossing her arms in front of her. Octavia wondered if she should step out and give them some privacy, the look on Bellamy's face told her it would be best if she stayed and cut in if need be.

"Listen to me Blake, you, nor anyone else for that matter, is going to go back to that place, no matter what they're offering us." Clarke's voice came out strained, like she was tired of repeating those words.

Octavia cringed again, wishing she had stayed away. They were arguing about sending an ambassador over to Mt. Weather. It had been the camp gossip for months. Mt. Weather was asking for help rebuilding their community after they and the grounders had attacked saving their people. They had been hit hard and winter was coming, so Mt. Weather was desperate. If it had been anything else the camp wouldn't have sparred a thought to telling them to go to hell after what they'd done to their people, but a mutated virus had begun to circle the grounds and plenty of people were slowly dying with no way to cure them. Mt. Weather had offered their equipment and medicine in return for help.

"You once sent me there to my death and I made it back fine Clarke. This time won't be any different."

Clarke let out a sharp breath and Octavia notice the way her lower lip trembled.

"This is not the same."

"You're right, this time I won't be going their to my death, so why does it matter!" Bellamy's voice rose with his last words.

"Because Bell-"

"Don't!"

Clarke jumped, Octavia stepped forward, reaching for her, but stopped when she signaled her she was okay.

"You said it yourself Clarke," Bellamy pulled open the tent's entrance. "It's worth the risk," he spit out, before disappearing completely into the night.

Clarke cleared her throat, moving to pack up her things.

"You okay Clarke?" Octavia asked, helping her gather the maps.

"Yeah, just fine."

Clarke walked out moments after and Octavia wondered what had just been silently said that had caused her brother to act like a total ass and Clarke to look like she wanted to cry.

 

 

Murphy was the one to carry him back, of course it was just his luck, because he needed something else for the princess to hate him even more for, not being able to protect Bellamy was pretty much as bad as shooting Raven in her book. Still Murphy trudged through the forest with Bellamy's breaths getting shallower by the second and if anyone asked he would deny the fact that he almost cried when the sound of camp hit his ears.

Clarke of course had been pacing the gates entrance as if she'd known that this was how they were going to show  up after three days, bloodied, bruised, and with a half dead Blake. She'd run to his side and if Murphy noticed the way her hands shook as she cradled Bellamy's face, he didn't say anything. After that if had been order after order being barked at him, that Murphy was more then happy to follow, it distracted him from the way Bellamy seemed to grow paler.

Once they had him in the tent and doctor Griffin had him sedated Clarke pulled him outside to start the interrogation.

"We never made it to Mt. Weather," Murphy reached out a hand to run through his hair. "We were attacked by men dressed in an odd blue uniform, but they weren't mountain men, that's for sure, they looked more like warriors then soldiers."

Clarke looked away in thought, Murphy had overheard a conversation between her and Bellamy about the Ice Nation, if he had a guess he'd say they'd just had there first run in with them.

"But why would they attack?"

Murphy shrugged, "Your guess is as good as mine Clarke, but you remember what Lexa said, the alliance with us put a strain on their coalition. This could be their way of sending a message."

Clarke closed her eyes for a second and Murphy almost felt guilt for witnessing the moment of vulnerability, he knew he still didn't deserve it.

"Go, get some food, and some rest. I'll send some word to you on how Bell is doing."

Murphy nodded, before excusing himself. A part of him wished he could stay but he knew Clarke needed everyone to stay clear of her. Love was weakness, he understood better then anyone.

 

 

Removing the spear from his chest had been the easy part, the hard part was sitting around and waiting on wether he would ever open his eyes again or not, the fact that he tossed and turned occasionally and yelled out Clarke's name now and then was as good a sign as any to Abby that the boy on her operating table would be okay. After their unplanned arrival, Marcus had gathered a team to head back up towards Mt. Weather, Murphy had been the first to volunteer and they had set out promptly after.

Three days passed of Clarke staying as far away from the medical tent as possible, sneaking into Bellamy's tent to sleep in his bed when she thought everyone else had gone to sleep. When Marcus returned with medical supplies and equipment Abby had cried of joy, this would give the boy a better chance of waking up, save their people, and hopefully help her daughter too.

On the fifth day he had gasped awake, coughing up blood. Abby had sent Jackson out to reach word to his sister and soon enough they had him eating and in recovery. Clarke didn't appear until that night and Abbey excused herself to give them some privacy.

 

 

She glared at him from the entrance of the med bay. "You're supposed to come back alive," her voice cracked. "Every time."

Bellamy refuse to look at her, instead focused on the furs covering his body.

"Bell, talk to me." she stepped closer to his bed.

"You never visited while I was out. Not once." his voice came out hoarse.

Clarke tried to calm her breathing as she got closer to his bed.

"Who told you?"

"O."

She nodded, of course Octavia would, who else.

"I- _I couldn't lose you too Bellamy_." she whispered, reaching out to touch him, but pulling back at the sight of Bellamy stiffening.

"Funny, I remember you telling me that once before deciding I was expendable."

Tears slipped down Clarke's cheek, Bellamy still refusing to look at her.

"I was afraid."

Bellamy grunted, closing his eyes.

"I was afraid that if I didn't push you away then something would happen to you because of me."

Bellamy swallowed, turning to look at her hands, they fell limp at her sides.

"Well it worked," he cleared his throat. "It worked Clarke, you pushed me away. But guess what," he looked up at her, communicating silently everything he knew he would never be able to say. "I still got hurt."

Clarke sniffled, wiping away the tears, she looked away from his intense gaze and nodding her head, she turned to leave.

"Stay," Bellamy called out to her as she made it to ehe exit.

Clarke froze, cautiously turning back towards Bellamy, who extended a hand out to her.

"Stay. But only if that's what you want. And only if you're sure. Because I can't do this anymore Clarke. So you either stay or you leave, but you can't have both."

 

 

That night everyone in the camp enjoyed the silence as they slept, knowing their rebel king would live another day and hoping that their fearless leader would open her heart up once again.

**Author's Note:**

> I have this theory that Bellamy has actually been in love with Clarke since the beginning (okay maybe not the beginning-beginning, but you know), so Clarke's words always cut a little deeper then they're supposed too.


End file.
